Fame.

By now, I'm sure you've seen it. In fact, you've probably seen it far more times than any normal human being should have to see it in an entire lifetime. What is this "it" I'm referring to? My face. In a mere 48 hours, my face has managed to get itself plastered all over various websites that it should have never, ever ventured: America's Most Wanted, People of Walmart, even 1000uglypeople.com! KIDDING. Kidding. But just incase you haven't been following along with my recent spike in a very, very oddly based fame, here's a quick recap of what the last 48 hours of my life have entailed. What I initially presumed to be a moderately embarrassing, but quaintly hilarious article in a low-key campus newspaper has skyrocketed into an adventure that not even the craziest theory could have predicted.

The Ramblings of the Forty-Eight Hour Fame:
1. The Auburn Plainsman wrote an article on me for being- you guessed it- Keurig Girl. Even though it has over 16000 views and counting, it still came as a complete surprise that...
2. Cosmopolitan (yes you heard me right), COSMO-FREAKING-POLITAN picked up the article. SAY WHAT?! I may or may not have fainted when I saw my face being tweeted to their 1.1 million followers.
3. Shortly after this, other news sites began to discover the story, including The War Eagle Reader, AL.com, and Seventeen Magazine. At this point, I'm rocking in the fetal position on the floor of my room, hyperventilating into a paper bag. It's fine.
4. Keurig reached out to me on Twitter. They want to send me "a surprise." Wut. I don't even know who I am anymore. WHAT IS HAPPENING?!
5. A Cosmopolitan reporter called me. On my cell phone. While I was in class. She asked if she could interview me. For another article. WHAT?1/?!84O239P--93KJ SD!>/?!??.
6.  The Odyssey published yet another article on me. I'm slowly beginning to lose my sanity. Why are people actually reading these things?
7. Cosmopolitan released my interview with them. My face is on the front homepage of COSMO as a "Most Read Story." Sanity= gone. Mind= blown. HOW?!
8. A movement has started to get me put on the Ellen DeGeneres Show. #KeurigGirlOnEllen is actually a legitimate campaign.. I just can't even comprehend what's happening right now. I'm in denial that this is actually real. I'm being Punk'd. Where's Ashton??
9. People all over the world (California, New York, even Bulgaria??) have begun following me on social media, sliding into my DMs, and telling me reasons why they either A) love me or B) hate me. Who are all of these people? How did they find me? Why on earth do they find my coffee addiction so uncannily fascinating??

I literally don't understand how this happened. What is even remotely fascinating about a really weird and awkward college student with an embarrassingly unhealthy addiction to caffeine? How did this same freak even manage to acquire a fan (and hater, lol) base? What is life? I honestly couldn't tell you. One day I'll tell my future children of the olden days when their mother was a world-famous celebrity, with stories of my life being projected amongst those of Justin Timberlake, the Kardashians, and even the Biebs. They'll probably dismiss these stories as mere delusions, and honestly I don't blame them. I'll probably be locked up in the psychiatric ward of a mental hospital by this point, anyways.

Well I don't expect my fame to last much longer than approximately 0.32 seconds, but hey it's been a great ride. Keurig Girl out, homies. See y'all on Ellen.

((Also hi, sidenote: check out the links if you want the full, non-bullet pointed stories. They're probably more interesting than my odd ramblings anyways.))